I am confident that a proper understanding of the Doctrine of Sin is paramount. For me, it has driven me to to cross for God's grace and mercy as the only solution. How can I focus on Kay's sin when the knowledge of my own causes me to continually cry for forgiveness? How can I ever justify that her sin deserves judgement from me? Just the thought that I deserve my rights in our relationship is evidence of what a sinful man I am. May my only cry be for mercy!!
In the final portion of chapter two, Harvey makes such an important point. He states that what changes everything about sin is to realize it is first against God. My very nature (which is sinful) is against God's nature (which is holy). He is correct that what will change how we see our unkind words and actions towards our spouse is to stop calling it unkind words and actions. We need to call it what it is, a sinful act to a Holy God. The quote via Jerry bridges says it so well...
"Sin is wrong , not because of what it does to me, or my spouse, or child, or neighbor, but because it is an act of rebellion against an infinitely holy and majestic God." Jerry Bridges...The Discipline of Grace
I was challenged by Harvey's confession of how God changed his perception of "little sins". I pray that God would change my heart to experience true sorrow for 'little sins". My we allow J.I. Packer's quote to penetrate our hearts...."There can be no small sins against a great God".
Questions we should all ask ourselves:
1. Have we become "comfortable with" certain sins?
2. Are we willing to battle those temptations?
3. Do we see our sins, even the "little ones", as sin against a Holy God?
4. Are we willing to see a God-glorifying marriage for what it is, not to first feel more loved or have more marital satisfaction, but for the purpose of putting the Gospel on display?
Only when we realize that our marriage was not created for us, but that the maximum pleasure of our marriage will be found in a desire to make Jesus Christ look total satisfying. It is so important that we properly understand how sin destroys that ultimate pleasure. In our deceitful hearts, we think that turning from our sin will not give us ultimate pleasure. Ultimate pleasure is only found in God and sin keeps us from fully enjoying Him. May we all see that our problem is not our spouse, our children, our job, our parents, our circumstances, etc., our problem is ourselves. My problem is Mike Simmons, the worst sinner I know. Oh, how I pray that God will burn this truth into my heart and break down all the sinful defenses that keep me from it.
So what can we do today to go in this direction? We can preach the Gospel to ourselves, reminding ourselves of what our sin cost our Savior. The Gospel will show us two things with complete clarity...our sin and God's solution. We not only need to to remind ourselves of this daily, we need to embrace it as our only hope.
Our God is amazing in all His ways!!
This video via John Piper says it best...
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Chapter Two (II)
Well, it has been a few days since I have been able to revisit chapter two; the evenings were busy during the past week. I believe one of the most significant parts of chapter two was the quote via Dr. John MacArthur that Harvey included. Dr. MacArthur 's statement is concerning the loss of biblical reality among believers. It is as follows:
"Christians are rapidly losing sight of SIN as the root of all human woes. And many Christians are explicitly denying that their own sin can be the cause of their personal anguish. More and more are attempting to explain the human dilemma in wholly unbiblical terms: temperament, addiction, dysfunctional families, the child within, codependency, and a host of other irresponsible escape mechanisms promoted by secular psychology.
The potential impact of such a drift is frightening. Remove the reality of sin, and you take away the possibility of repentance. Abolish the doctrine of human depravity and you void the divine plan of salvation. Ease the notion of personal guilt and you eliminate the need for a Savior." John MacArthur
Are we willing to be honest with ourselves, looking at our hearts battling indwelling sin, and look where the real problem is...in the mirror? And then look at where the real solution is...the cross. I need to know that my problem is within...my problem is Mike Simmons. And to God Be The Glory, the solution is to go the the cross, realizing that the solution is to remember the great cost that MY sin cost the Savior. I challenge us all to cry out to God to change our hearts and protect us from the temptation of thinking the problem is out there somewhere. In the words of Martyn Lloyd Jones, "May we stop listening to ourselves and begin talking to ourselves." And may the words we hear be the Word of God that will transform our hearts and minds.
Colossians 3:1-3
The potential impact of such a drift is frightening. Remove the reality of sin, and you take away the possibility of repentance. Abolish the doctrine of human depravity and you void the divine plan of salvation. Ease the notion of personal guilt and you eliminate the need for a Savior." John MacArthur
Are we willing to be honest with ourselves, looking at our hearts battling indwelling sin, and look where the real problem is...in the mirror? And then look at where the real solution is...the cross. I need to know that my problem is within...my problem is Mike Simmons. And to God Be The Glory, the solution is to go the the cross, realizing that the solution is to remember the great cost that MY sin cost the Savior. I challenge us all to cry out to God to change our hearts and protect us from the temptation of thinking the problem is out there somewhere. In the words of Martyn Lloyd Jones, "May we stop listening to ourselves and begin talking to ourselves." And may the words we hear be the Word of God that will transform our hearts and minds.
Colossians 3:1-3
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Chapter Two
Lord willing, I am hoping to do the same thing with this chapter as with chapter one, discuss some of the highlights. It is amazing how liberating the news of who we really are is, sinners that have one main problem...ourselves. How we should agree with Paul when he told Timothy that Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom he was the worst. Now if Paul, the writer of most of the New Testament, said that, what is our response? May we see the absolute necessity to look at our sin in light of what it cost our Savior.
Tim Keller said, 'We are more wicked than we could ever imagine and more loved than we could ever hope." Harvey stressed that Paul always saw his sinfulness in light of God's holiness, and God's mercy in the face of his sin. May we stop long enough this week to meditate on these truths and apply them to our marriage. It is so easy to get into our same routines, leaning on our own understanding and denying the word of truth.
Tim Keller said, 'We are more wicked than we could ever imagine and more loved than we could ever hope." Harvey stressed that Paul always saw his sinfulness in light of God's holiness, and God's mercy in the face of his sin. May we stop long enough this week to meditate on these truths and apply them to our marriage. It is so easy to get into our same routines, leaning on our own understanding and denying the word of truth.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The worst of sinners
Kelley and I just finished reading chapter 2 together. I never thought God would grant me such joy and peace by reminding me that I (like Paul to Timothy) am the worst of sinners. The world would have us believe this is somehow contradictory. After all, people are generally good by nature, right? Oh, friends, let us embrace our depravity! Seeing my marraige this way does two amazing things: 1.) Most importantly it magnifies the glory of the grace of God through Jesus Christ, and 2.) It gives me a new perspective on the interactions in my family that cause pity parties, provoke anger, prompt cheap shots, or any other action done under the auspice of "I deserve to feel better." These actions have nothing to do with my wife "wronging" me, they have everything to do with my own disgusting sin. Praise be to the perfect and holy God who allowed His own son's blood to be shed so He can still look upon filth like me!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Hello to All
Well, I want to first say hi to Chris. I miss you bro! While you were in town you gave me a "welcome" audio tape of praise and worship music from Vineyard music. I fell in love with that simple little tape and played it over and over again. Now, God has given me the opportunity to play some of that music for Him on bass with the Clearwater Baptist Church praise band along side another brother in this group, Ben Finch. I say all this to extend my gratitude to you for introducing me to God-centered praise and worship music.
If a picture is worth a thouand words, it appears to me that you are doing well. What a beautiful family.
Anyhoo, better late than never, right? I am catching up on the reading in the Harvey book. I would just like to say that these truths that I have read are so simple and obvious, but I've managed to overlook them altogether or worse yet, self-righteously settle complacently with being "good enough" or seeking my own happiness. My marraige to Kelley exists for the glory of God, not for hers and mine. God invented this institution so that Kelley and I can demonstrate with our lives Christ's love for His people.
If a picture is worth a thouand words, it appears to me that you are doing well. What a beautiful family.
Anyhoo, better late than never, right? I am catching up on the reading in the Harvey book. I would just like to say that these truths that I have read are so simple and obvious, but I've managed to overlook them altogether or worse yet, self-righteously settle complacently with being "good enough" or seeking my own happiness. My marraige to Kelley exists for the glory of God, not for hers and mine. God invented this institution so that Kelley and I can demonstrate with our lives Christ's love for His people.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Chapter One (IV)
"Till sin is bitter, Christ will not be sweet"
This short quote from Dave Harvey encapsulates the final part of chapter one. He asked a couple of penetrating questions to make you stop and consider the REAL problem. I know for me the problem is obvious and consistent...the problem is Mike Simmons. The questions are as follows :
1. "What if you abandon the idea that the problems and weaknesses in your marriage are caused by a lack of information, dedication, or communication?
2. "What if you saw your problems as they truly are; caused by a war within your own heart?
Unfortunately, because of our indwelling sin and deceitful hearts, the only bitter sin is the sin of others. Until we stop making excuses and searching tirelessly for more excuses, we will not be able to enjoy the gift that God has given us. Our spouse was given to us as an act of God's Sovereign will.
Dave Harvey stresses that looking at our own sin is paramount but is not natural. Our natural tendency is to look away from our hearts because we do not like what we see. That is also where the tendency comes from to focus on our spouse's sins. But that is where the gospel reigns supreme. As we look at our deceitful hearts, convicted of our sin, we should immediately look to the cross. The gospel is the only way we can look at our deceitful hearts with hope. When we take our sinful heart to the cross with full assurance of the atoning blood of our Savior, we can face our sin honestly and completely.
Our challenge is to BELIEVE that our biggest problem is not our spouse, job, children, extended family or anything else we constantly use as an excuse. The problem is not out there...it is within. May we all realize that a God-glorifying marriage will only occur with an honest INDIVIDUAL assessment of our sin and the liberating power of the cross. May we all pray that our desire would be for a cross-centered marriage.
Well, that does it for chapter one. I am so looking forward to meeting for chapter two, Waking Up With the Worst of Sinners, this coming Friday.
This short quote from Dave Harvey encapsulates the final part of chapter one. He asked a couple of penetrating questions to make you stop and consider the REAL problem. I know for me the problem is obvious and consistent...the problem is Mike Simmons. The questions are as follows :
1. "What if you abandon the idea that the problems and weaknesses in your marriage are caused by a lack of information, dedication, or communication?
2. "What if you saw your problems as they truly are; caused by a war within your own heart?
Unfortunately, because of our indwelling sin and deceitful hearts, the only bitter sin is the sin of others. Until we stop making excuses and searching tirelessly for more excuses, we will not be able to enjoy the gift that God has given us. Our spouse was given to us as an act of God's Sovereign will.
Dave Harvey stresses that looking at our own sin is paramount but is not natural. Our natural tendency is to look away from our hearts because we do not like what we see. That is also where the tendency comes from to focus on our spouse's sins. But that is where the gospel reigns supreme. As we look at our deceitful hearts, convicted of our sin, we should immediately look to the cross. The gospel is the only way we can look at our deceitful hearts with hope. When we take our sinful heart to the cross with full assurance of the atoning blood of our Savior, we can face our sin honestly and completely.
Our challenge is to BELIEVE that our biggest problem is not our spouse, job, children, extended family or anything else we constantly use as an excuse. The problem is not out there...it is within. May we all realize that a God-glorifying marriage will only occur with an honest INDIVIDUAL assessment of our sin and the liberating power of the cross. May we all pray that our desire would be for a cross-centered marriage.
Well, that does it for chapter one. I am so looking forward to meeting for chapter two, Waking Up With the Worst of Sinners, this coming Friday.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Chapter One (III)
" Accurately understanding and continually applying the gospel IS the Christian life. This also means that the gospel is an endless fountain of God's grace in your marriage. To become a good theologian and to be able to look forward to a lifelong, thriving marriage, you must have a clear understanding of the gospel. Without it, you cannot see God, yourself, or your marriage for what they truly are. The gospel is the fountain of a thriving marriage." We need to mediate on this quote from the book, with an understanding that only through a gospel-centered perspective does a God-glorifying marriage even make sense.
So, the third highlight of chapter one is the absolute importance of the gospel in our marriages. Why else would we even be reading this book and urging one another to lay our lives down for our spouse for the purpose of making Christ look good to a lost and dying world? If we do not learn anything else from this book, I pray the when we finish we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our marriage is not about us...it is about HIM. Only then can we live in the shadow of the cross, looking for ways we can decrease so He can increase. As we continue with this book, let's challenge one another to read it not as ones looking for how we will individually benefit or even how we will benefit as couples, but may we look for how we can put the gospel on display. The gospel that says....while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Solus Christus
So, the third highlight of chapter one is the absolute importance of the gospel in our marriages. Why else would we even be reading this book and urging one another to lay our lives down for our spouse for the purpose of making Christ look good to a lost and dying world? If we do not learn anything else from this book, I pray the when we finish we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our marriage is not about us...it is about HIM. Only then can we live in the shadow of the cross, looking for ways we can decrease so He can increase. As we continue with this book, let's challenge one another to read it not as ones looking for how we will individually benefit or even how we will benefit as couples, but may we look for how we can put the gospel on display. The gospel that says....while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Solus Christus
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Chapter One (II)
The first highlight of chapter one focused on the importance of our theology, what we think about God in the context of our marriage. It is paramount that we know that the main purpose of marriage is not our happiness, both as individuals and/or couples. The main issue of marriage is the glory of God displaying the relationship between Christ and the church. It is so freeing to know that we are not His main concern. The main concern of God is God. Our joy is the outcome of God glorifying Himself. The most unloving thing is when we are placed at the center instead of God. This should be a challenging thought for the parents of young children. If you want to serve your children as unto the Lord, make God the treasure of your life and make them aware of their sin and their need for the Saviour. Instead of making much of a child, free him/her to make much of God.
The second highlight of chapter one is the need for God's word to be the foundation of marriage. A truth-based marriage is centered on Christ and truth is based from God's word. God's word should be the source of authority in our marriages. The challenge for me is to make the application of God's word a priority in my marriage. I must confess that I deceive myself when I think I can figure it out w/o the authority of His word. May we gain a fresh perspective of the bible, realizing that not only marriage, but all of life will only be as strong as the foundation of God's word in the given situation. Do you love God's word? Do you believe it is God's own words? My we fall in love with His word as we look to it for the only hope for the foundation of our marriage. What we will find when we look into the word is not a marriage blueprint...we find a person...God.
Sola Scriptura!!
The second highlight of chapter one is the need for God's word to be the foundation of marriage. A truth-based marriage is centered on Christ and truth is based from God's word. God's word should be the source of authority in our marriages. The challenge for me is to make the application of God's word a priority in my marriage. I must confess that I deceive myself when I think I can figure it out w/o the authority of His word. May we gain a fresh perspective of the bible, realizing that not only marriage, but all of life will only be as strong as the foundation of God's word in the given situation. Do you love God's word? Do you believe it is God's own words? My we fall in love with His word as we look to it for the only hope for the foundation of our marriage. What we will find when we look into the word is not a marriage blueprint...we find a person...God.
Sola Scriptura!!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Chapter One
First, thank you Chris for facilitating this blog to discuss what has been deemed by many as one of the best books on marriage. I guess one of the main reasons it has gotten this type of feedback is that according to Paul David Tripp, "it is very honest about sin and very hopeful about the amazing resources of God's grace in Jesus Christ."
Well, since it is getting late and I need to get some rest, I am going to write a little about one of the highlights of chapter one and post some more later.
After establishing that marriage was created to magnify the gospel and put on display the relationship between Christ and the church, Dave Harvey started with the importance that a marriage being shaped by theology. I loved what R.C. Sproul said about the fact that it is not whether a husband and wife have a theology but whether it is good theology or bad theology. What we believe about God will dictate how we see one another, relate with one another and respond to one another. One example of this is in the belief that God is Sovereign. This will in itself enable you to know that your spouse was given to you directly from God for His glory and your joy. It is exciting and important to see His hand in every detail of our marriage. Well, enough for now--off to bed---more to come.
Well, since it is getting late and I need to get some rest, I am going to write a little about one of the highlights of chapter one and post some more later.
After establishing that marriage was created to magnify the gospel and put on display the relationship between Christ and the church, Dave Harvey started with the importance that a marriage being shaped by theology. I loved what R.C. Sproul said about the fact that it is not whether a husband and wife have a theology but whether it is good theology or bad theology. What we believe about God will dictate how we see one another, relate with one another and respond to one another. One example of this is in the belief that God is Sovereign. This will in itself enable you to know that your spouse was given to you directly from God for His glory and your joy. It is exciting and important to see His hand in every detail of our marriage. Well, enough for now--off to bed---more to come.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Welcome Everyone
Hello To All,
We are excited to be joining the group as you read through "When Sinners Say I Do". Karen and I have not received the book yet so we are looking forward to reading your comments and reflections on the chapters you have read so far. We should be able to get a feel for where you are with your reading from your postings. I don't know if I know everybody involved in the study so I think a greeting would be a nice way to start off this blog. Just say hello and give a summary of your feelings about the book so far. We are looking forward to hanging out with everybody in cyberspace.
HOWDY!
Hey guys. Well, I'm a sinner who said, "I do." Thanks to Mike and his reformed revival, I've come under a daily barrage of sin squashing quotes and meditations. I'm really enjoying this book. I am also feeling the need for a more authentic, faithful witness of Christ within the marriage he's given Amanda and I.
In A Journey Worth Taking, Charles Drew (is that his name, Mike?) says that at the core, all reality is covenantal (or relational). I"ve been musing on that. I also glanced at a passage where it's mentioned in Genesis that man and woman were made in the IMAGE of God, not the IMAGES of God. This bears witness to the mysterious unity and diversity within the Godhead and our marriages as a testimony and embodiment thereof. Two persons reflecting one image of a God in three persons, blessed trinity. Let's sing all together now!
In A Journey Worth Taking, Charles Drew (is that his name, Mike?) says that at the core, all reality is covenantal (or relational). I"ve been musing on that. I also glanced at a passage where it's mentioned in Genesis that man and woman were made in the IMAGE of God, not the IMAGES of God. This bears witness to the mysterious unity and diversity within the Godhead and our marriages as a testimony and embodiment thereof. Two persons reflecting one image of a God in three persons, blessed trinity. Let's sing all together now!
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